Theo, patient Theo
Week 4 of the 8 Week Challenge, is concerned with Passion. And, I have to say, I don’t really have any passions, nothing that I am consumed by in the way that being passionate about something usually means. There are many things I like, some that I love, & many things I care deeply about. But …….. passionate? Not really. I don’t exactly trust it.
And find this out about myself, not entirely trusting passion, as I notice myself avoiding this topic all week long:) Much as when I made a week’s project out of a WordPress Sunday Post: Pleasure, (on my own blog, MindMindful) I feel much the same way about this idea of being impassioned. These posts from that week relate somewhat to my feelings about Passion ……….. Original post: http://wp.me/p1zocx-117 #4 http://wp.me/p1zocx-12v #5 http://wp.me/p1zocx-138 #6 http://wp.me/p1zocx-147 (this one is perhaps a form of a passion: I lovelovelove having revelations like these:) #7 http://wp.me/p1zocx-145 Explore these posts, if you like, as they are pretty much what I understand of my feelings re passion, being passionate, feeling impassioned.
Passion is obviously intertwined with Love, so the Goddess Aphrodite must have something to say about it! But I don’t really know where this will go from here. I think I need to work on this topic for another week.
More to come I guess ………………
Last Sunday Post’s topic of “Pleasure” at first seemed so easy. But, for me, it has revealed itself to be fraught with emotional peril — who knew?!? As I’ve pondered it everyday this week, I’ve learned several things, which have been lurking in my psychic depths, languishing, & probably laughing at me too. They glom themselves into two main strands of thought ………
** My feelings about Pleasure
Immediately, I realized that I don’t trust it, because I often feel that there is something much better that I should be doing. And, deep down, I don’t feel that I deserve pleasure. I’m still very conscious of wanting pleasure though, I just don’t chase it in the same ways I used to. Next came the understanding that it’s more my response to pleasure that kindles the distrust: I fear that I will get lost (whatever “I” means). The comment of another blogger made me realize that feelings of guilt are definitely tied up in all this somehow.
** How I get Pleasure
Seeing others express their own joy ….. Learning things about myself, especially through interactions with others. Sharing is a major component ….. Doing puzzles, because the ‘figuring out’ brings a kind of satisfaction ….. Visiting the river every day ….. One of the greatest kinds of pleasure is when I come to relate to the world/universe/multiverse better. Double my pleasure!!
This is what I do, more & more: Taking a simple thing, like this photo assignment & turning it into a days-long assay of my mind, in this case on the topic of “pleasure”. This comes, I suppose, from my journey toward greater mindfulness, which is the whole raison d’etre of this blog. More & more, I have to
examine re-examine how I feel & think about everything — in my quest for greater clarity, awareness & heightened consciousness, I must look at every presumption, every underlying ‘truth’ to see what’s really there. How much is what I’ve been taught to think, feel, believe? And how much of THAT do I need to keep, how much do I lovingly discard??
Ah, it’s an interesting trip, for sure! And I am grateful for the stirring up that came from this Sunday Post photo assignment. Do these promote so much introspection & analysis for you??
- Sunday Post: PLEASURE (contemplativeeye.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Post: PLEASURE #2 (contemplativeeye.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Post: PLEASURE #3 (mindmindful.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Post: PLEASURE #4 (mindmindful.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Post: PLEASURE #5 (mindmindful.wordpress.com)
- Eat, Play, Love (Sunday Post: Pleasure) (reflectionsinapuddle.wordpress.com)
- SUNDAY POST: Pleasure (jakesprinters.wordpress.com)
Most mornings, I do the cryptograms & the Sudoku puzzles in the newspaper. This little interlude affords me a certain kind of pleasure – jumpstarting my sleepy brain, teasing out little tendrils of thinking ability:), giving some satisfaction at simple being able to work them correctly. They also — & this is especially true of the Sudoku — make for great MindfulnessTools, as they show me a lot about how my mind is working right then. (Read where I’ve written about this before.)
One would think that this would be pretty much the same each day. But, no, no, my mind reveals itself to be behaving very differently from day to day – & probably from moment to moment, haha. I imagine there are several variables at work here — how much sleep I got, whether I’ve had any coffee, my general health, maybe what I ate the day before ….. perhaps my biorhythms or the phases of the moon??
For those who’ve never tried Sudoku, here’s a concise exposition: There are 9 rows, 9 columns & 9 boxes – each have 9 squares within. And the point is to enter the numbers 1-9, so that each appears only once in each row, each column & each box. In an exercise of “If This, Than (not) That”, Sudoku is essentially a game that reflects this famous saying by John Muir, the great naturalist & wilderness preservationist:
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
In Sudoku, the placement of each digit affects the placement of every other. Change one & almost all the others change too. Working the puzzle this morning, I was momentarily mentally arrested by realizing this very thing: this engaging game, based on logic, but which sometimes requires the occasional intuitive leap, is a lovely little model of the entire cosmos!
I firmly believe that this principle applies to ALL of us — we, too, are little models of the entire cosmos. This is what fuels my journey toward greater mindfulness: When my mind changes, the entire universe (multiverse) is altered. The micro is the macro, a puzzle is the universe. And in my small revelation, with its gigantic impact, I take a great deal of pleasure.