Is today still Thursday??

So, when I have days like some of those I’ve had recently …………

I want to be the one to get the American flag hung up outside on the national holiday, as Dad & I kind of have a little competition going. Yea, I showed the old man up this time, I say, patting myself on the back ……….. Only, it is Thursday, whereas Martin Luther King, Jr. Day always falls on a Monday.

AND

I jump out of bed early Tuesday morning, so I can beat my dad at gathering the trash & getting it out to the curb. This way he can sleep in a bit, & that niggly little chore is done, before either of us forgets. What a great start to the day, I congratulate myself! ………….. Only, Tuesday isn’t trash pick up day; that’s on Mondays & Fridays.

AND

I notice Theo is sitting in my doorway, with that patient yet longing look on his face, which means “Time for our walk!” So, hurriedly, I lace up my boots, grab my coat & head for the door ………. Only, we’ve already HAD a 3 mile walk today.

…………. & I find myself utterly confused, I feel better when I read the reassuring words of teachers such as Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, talking about awakening to our essential Buddha nature:

Confusion (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You should look into your confusion further. You should push into it instead of closing yourself off ……. You should not take time off from your confusion, or from the inconvenience or embarrassment of seeing that confusion.

So often those of us seeking to “find” our enlightened selves forget that it isn’t really “lost”. It’s with us all the time. Nay, it IS us all of the time. We just don’t know how to see it for what it really is: Enlightenment is this life we are living, if we only make a persistent mental adjustment to how we view reality. If we only learn to recognize that this samsara IS our nirvana. Both are processes, not places to go.

Hot damn! If befuddlement is as good of a ticket into nirvana as anything else is, then I’m well equipped, passport in hand, hahahahahahahahahaha

Related articles

• seeing your confusion (justdharmaquotes.wordpress.com)
• Look into Your Confusion (shambhala.com)

Little glow, nesting within my heart

I just love the back & forthing of the comment feature of blogging, don’t you? I’ve gotten many a post idea from something someone said in response to someone else’s something. And I’ve been nourished by many kind & affirmative words from some of my blogging buddies. Having discovered this whole blogging thang, I choose to not live without it now!! And so it is that a little, humbly pleased glow is nesting within my heart today. This is because of a comment I received today, from Jen of Step On a Crack, in response to my post of yesterday, about the H.U.G. award. Jen is the one who gave me this, & I’ve given it right back to her! In her kindness & loving spirit, Jen says:

YOU!  You embody all that Amma teaches. Really…

A HUGE HUG to you and to your Heart…

Peace and Love to you my Friend!

Here’s why this comment immediately moved me to tears: Amma, known as the Hugging Saint, lives quite modestly Herself, although skads of money comes to Her from all over the world. She puts all of it into Her many humanitarian activities, as everything She does is for the benefit of “Her children.”She hardly sleeps, & spends literally every waking moment serving others. She can be fierce & is very funny, a tiny woman with a grand, all-encompassing heart. Raised in Hindu traditions, when asked what religion She is promoting, Amma replies, “Love.” Compassion beyond all measure is who, & how, & what — & why – Amma is.  She is the bodhisattva I aspire toward being.

And, She is already ‘there’, believed by many (including myself) to be a fully realized, enlightened being. That is, Amma is one who is cognizant of her inherent enlightened self, Her Buddha nature, & is living it fully with Her every breath. An avatar of the Divine Mother, Amma spiritually nurtures all sentient beings. She, Herself, never makes these claims though, caring only for teaching Her children how to live lives of love, compassion & service to others. Her name in Sanskrit, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, means Mother of Immortal Bliss, & this is Her gift to us — that we may live in undiminished loving-ness for all of the breaths of our lives.

I fall far, far short of this ideal, but because of Amma’s unconditional love & Her grace, I have my eye on this goal, so to speak, & know that I will get ‘there’ too. A spiritual master to many people around the world, She took birth in this lifetime to be our satguru, our true teacher. It is immaterial whether or not we believe that a real guru has the transcendental capabilities of possessing mystical powers, being able to perform miracles, & mitigating one’s karma. Amma can truly lead us across the proverbial ocean of samsara, for She embodies the highest example of How To Be, & just as importantly, How Not To Be. Amma lifts up & inspires everyone, in accord with the noblest aspiration of what a mighty human can be, & what a mere human can accomplish in this world. Much like Jesus for many Christians, Amma is my guiding beacon. And when I flounder, because sometimes I can only recognize the darkness, it is Her spiritual light that helps me find my way again.

For someone to tell me, as Jen has, that — for all my flawed & faltering ways — I am embodying Amma’s teachings …….. well, the little, nestling glow takes hold, transcendentally warming me. An affirmation like this tells me two very important things: 1) Maybe I am doing something right, haha, & 2) I’m encountering & becoming friends with people who know how to see & appreciate it. It is a gift, for sure, one I mean to give right back to everyone I encounter. Hopefully, it will ignite a tiny glow, which will nest in their hearts too.

1st Week: Generosity, a boat to the other shore

I too am taking part in Alternate Economy’s ”8 Week Challenge”. Visit this post to find out the particulars, but basically it involves mining your own mind, heart, life for how you respond to & live with each week’s subject. This 1st week: Generosity, broken down into 3 categories. First, let me say: I’m disregarding the 3 categories, altogether, ha! Doing what you can with what you have, when you can, for the benefit of others: that’s the overriding principal, I feel. Plus, I’m working with Generosity from a Buddhist point of view.

In Theravadan Buddhism, there are Teachings known as the Six Paramitas. Paramita is variously translated as “perfection, perfect realization, or reaching beyond limitation”. It is in working with “reaching beyond limitation” that I feel I have been most challenged, & where most of my personal growth in Generosity has happened. These “perfections”, virtuous attainments also translate as ”crossing over to the other shore”, referring to samsara, the world filled with sufferings in which we live. What “going across” means here is moving toward Awakening, the realization of one’s inherent — already present — Buddha Nature, & reaching Bodhisattva-hood. Though these qualities ARE already within each of us, they are obscured by our ignorance of awakening, by our accepting the collective delusion of This World We Live In, “the ocean of samsara.” Akin perhaps to the 7 Virtues of Catholic teachings, which aid you on your journey to eternal Heaven, the paramitas are the sturdy little boats that we can sail in to keep from drowning in this ocean. ‘Generosity’ is one of the Paramitas, & I muse upon this a great deal. Cultivating a generous spirit has taken me far, far from the angry, grasping woman I used to be. I am not nearly so self-absorbed, as I am becoming ever-more aware of other people’s needs. And, I must also admit: Yikes, I have so so far yet to go!!

Beginning to laugh at the sky

I am struggling today with envy. And an abscessing tooth. And having slept poorly. The weather is blustery & becoming colder, with a lowering gray sky. Bleak, bleak, outdoors & in my outlook ………. revealed even by my choice of the word “struggle”. Hardly the “I choose to be happy” philosophy I usually embrace, & sometimes espouse! How the holy fuck CAN I ever be happy?!?!? she asks herself, expecting no real answer, & prepared to fall right on over into the pit of depression.

But I write this with a smile coming to my face, even though my cheek is swollen. And I feel a little lift in my heart (meaning: my mind)

“I’m here now”

In my journey toward Bodhisattva-hood, I am ever-seeking to become more “mindful,” & to have a working understanding of this concept beyond that of mere words.  And, gradually, grueling-ly, I am coming to appreciate what it means to Be Here Now, to stay in The Present Moment ………. which head butts me right into the struggle with THIS aspect of “mindfulness” –> being in this moment, WITHOUT JUDGMENT of it.

Being judgmental has long been a failing a habit of mine, one which I used to think protected me