On days like today, when I didn’t sleep well — I must’ve woken up more than a dozen times during the night! — my mood feels so weighed down, so murky & gray. It is more difficult to avoid indulging those dreary thoughts of self-loathing & anxiety about the future. It is not easy to keep from brooding over those moments of long ago decades when I made choices To Do or To Not Do, choices that reverberate loudly today. Such thoughts, I know, I KNOW, are delusions — they are no more real than any other thoughts, or any other things. They just are so heavy, so hard to push away, Sisyphean boulders rolling back upon me.
But, knowing the nature of such thinking —>> Delusory, I can choose to turn toward something “better”. Mantra helps – my guru mantra, or the singsong Tara mantra (listen below) are excellent tools for replacing ugly thoughts. Plus, mantra has the added benefit of bringing in good vibes:) And moving quotes are helpful too, such as this from Padmasambhava, the wisdom master who brought Buddhism to Tibet & other Himalayan countries:
Remember the clear light from which everything comes, to which everything returns; the original nature of your own mind.
A few more mantras, some meditation, mantramantramantra, & I can begin again to understand that pure light of my own mind ……… & I can begin again to believe in it, rather than in the crap it sometimes generates, hahahahahahahahaha
~~~~~ My deepest gratitude, Lotus-Born, my deepest gratitude ~~~~~